Fuck all the fucking excuses

Never been more sick of all the excuses people make for everything. Me most of all. I've sat on my ass for two weeks now, and flu or no, I have NO excuse to be letting myself turn into the lump of fat I was before I started exercising. It's BULLSHIT!!! So now it's time to put down the computer and go do the Fire 30 DVD of Turbofire.

Been a while...

Been so depressed here lately. And it's all because we don't get to go on our trip. Why couldn't Ellie have gotten off her ass and gotten a job? What is with us being surrounded by people who refuse to work? Thankfully that damned stepdaughter of mine is out of our hair for now. I hope she never comes back to live with us again.
I've been on vacation this whole week and had planned on doing so much exercise and making it down to the 30's. No dice. I pulled a muscle the FIRST day of vacation and have been sick since Thursday. What crap. Gotta go back to work tonight and hopefully I will get somewhere now. I plan on startin the Turbofire again tomorrow and trying like hell to follow through. I have never seen anything through all the way.

February 5

Sitting here this morning at 5:30 watchin the infomercial for Brazil Butt Lift and wishing I had it. I just might have to order it later. We were supposed to go skating today but with the snow I don't know if it will happen. I refuse to drive on this stuph.

Been tryin to...Ellie's calling. Later...

How's about a recap back to the beginning?

293. Yup, my starting weight. Even at 6'1", that's nothing but total fat ass. I was a size 20, although I kept squeezing into my 18's and stretching them out so I could tell myself I was still an 18. I was miserable all the time, never wanted to go anywhere, do anything, felt ugly and useless...normal crap you expect to hear from a fat ass. Here's the total shocker (insert sarcasm here) I also ate everything in sight.
From the past tense, anyone with even limited brain cells can tell I have changed a little. I have lost 51 pounds. I'm at 242. Still fat, but a great loss for me. It's not the first time, though. Once I made it to 214 then just lost control and gained it all back.
More coming tomorrow...I am exhausted from working all night then shopping all day. But happy. Very VERY happy. :)


Ok...more coming on February 5 instead. More background I guess. I have been fat my whole life. I had a crappy childhood where I felt unwanted by my dad, my stepmom was a rude bitch to me and I let her do it. I was made fun of, of course, hence the name Bean Hips. My cousin started calling me that in 7th grade. I will always embrace that name. :)

Fast forward to now. I've been married for 10 and a half years. I have a 10 year old daughter, and 2 stepchildren. We don't hear from his son too much, but his daughter is a WHOLE OTHER STORY!!!
That damn girl is the cause of my gray hairs. Just this last month she has been arrested twice. She lies constantly to us. The first arrest was domestic violence, where she threw something at her ex-boyfriend in front of two cops. The last one was on Sunday, January 30. Supposedly she used our car to back into the ex's car. She insists she didn't do it, but now we're hearing there is a witness who saw it happen. She's gone now and I hope it stays that way. There's a chance our insurance may drop us because of her, so who knows what's to come.